Well played, Bioware. Well played.

So in case you haven't noticed, I haven't updated in a while. Yes, I know, I'm a horrible person, but believe me, I can explain! See, Dragon Age 2 came out, and I don't know if you've heard, but there's this really hot Elf dude in it that looks like this:

Ooh baby.

And if you play your cards right, you get to do this:

OOH BABY.

So I hope you will understand and forgive when I tell you that I have been a little bit distracted.

A lot has been said about Dragon Age 2. It was very different from Dragon Age: Origins and, understandably, not everyone liked that. For my part, I enjoyed it quite a bit; it feels a little short, but the emotional punch at the end left me reeling for days, and I think if a game can have that sort of impact on me, it wins. But I'm just gonna talk about one facet of the game here which, as you may have gathered from the utterly distracting gif up there, I tend to obsess over where Bioware games are concerned: the romance options.

Bioware is well known for giving the player character in their games a rag tag band of followers who, over the course of the story, grow into what TV Tropes calls a Nakama - a group of people, forged by their common circumstances, who become like a close family. These characters and their relationship to the player are always very well written, so that by the end of the game, you end up feeling really attached to them. They're your brothers and sisters in arms; you fight with them, joke with them, help them with their problems, and GOD FORBID if the game actually allows any of them to die permanently at any point. You will cry so many tears.

Not to spoil anything but UPGRADE YOUR SHIP. SERIOUSLY.

Among these followers there are always a few who the player can choose to pursue a romantic relationship with. This, in my opinion, adds even another level of emotional involvement. You're not fighting all alone against the forces of evil; your friends are fighting with you, and the one you love is at your side, ready to face whatever darkness is to come. The battles become personal, because now you're not just fighting for the good of a nameless population, most of whom you'll never even see. You're fighting so that, some day, the world/galaxy will be safe, and you and the people you care about will be able to have a future in it, together.

Or maybe it's just fun to have your character make out with hot people/aliens. Could be that too.

At any rate, for a long time, Bioware had a sort of formula when it came to the player's options in these possible romances. There was usually one straight male, one straight female, and one bisexual female. If one knows anything about the target audience of most video games, it isn't hard to understand why they set it up this way; because to many straight men, heterosexual romance is fine, girl on girl is HOT, but gay dudes? Soooo gross. This was something that really bothered me about Bioware games for a long time, despite my overall love for them. I'd often hear things about how the devs had planned on making this or that male character romanceable by either gender, but they always seemed to chicken out. Sky from Jade Empire was that way, and so was Kaiden from Mass Effect; they always seemed to bow to outside pressure and take the option for man on man lovin' out of the game.

But then, Dragon Age: Origins came out. And we finally, finally, got Zevran.






Oh, Zevran. You big, flirty, silly accented manwhore. Zevran was the first male companion in a Bioware game who was romancable by either gender, and boy howdy, would he let you know about it. Practically the first conversation you have with it has him mentioning how he's slept with lots of people, men and women, and asking you if you had a problem with it. And while I did rather like him, and was relieved that Bioware was finally making an effort to give their players romance options no matter their sexual orientation, he does fall rather neatly into the Depraved Bisexual stereotype, with a side order of Have I Mentioned I Am Gay*. He was a bit over the top, is what I'm getting at, and more than one person was probably a little insulted.

There was a great deal of disappointment when Mass Effect 2 came out and, probably due in part to the utterly ridiculous brouhaha over the sex scene in the first game, suddenly all the romance options were straight only. Not even the usual token bi chick! Sure, the number of romance options had gone up from the usual three to six (including fan favorites Garrus and Tali), but it still felt like a huge step back for a lot of fans.

But then, oh then, came Dragon Age 2. And I can say with some confidence that Bioware has done a much better job at providing all of their fans with a believable love interest, no matter their orientation. In this game, there are four possible love interests, two male, two female, and all of them can be romanced by any gender. That gif up there? That could just have easily have been a dude kissing that hot elf man and slamming him into a wall. Not only that, if you happen to be a gay man and tattooed elves just aren't your thing, there's a whole OTHER romance option for you, in the form of a troubles rogue mage. Who likes cats. And that is AWESOME.

It's a buffet, pick whatever you want.

What's more, the Bioware devs have gone out of their way to back up their decision to finally try to give their fans a little more inclusivity. When a heterosexual male fan bitched that Bioware was making straight, male gamers a "secondary concern" by not allowing them to play the game with a "No Homo" option on the Bioware forums, David Gaider (who is also awesome for writing the Dragon Age prequel novels, which are pretty damn good) delivered the smackdown.

"The romances in the game are not for 'the straight male gamer'. They're for everyone. We have a lot of fans, many of whom are neither straight nor male, and they deserve no less attention. We have good numbers, after all, on the number of people who actually used similar sorts of content in DA:O ... and that's ignoring the idea that they don't have just as much right to play the kind of game they wish as anyone else. The "rights" of anyone with regards to a game are murky at best, but anyone who takes that stance must apply it equally to both the minority as well as the majority. The majority has no inherent "right" to get more options than anyone else.
"And if there is any doubt why such an opinion might be met with hostility, it has to do with privilege. You can write it off as "political correctness" if you wish, but the truth is that privilege always lies with the majority. They're so used to being catered to that they see the lack of catering as an imbalance. They don't see anything wrong with having things set up to suit them, what's everyone's fuss all about? That's the way it should be, any everyone else should be used to not getting what they want."

...and there was much rejoycing.

Yaaaay!

So I say, good on you, Bioware! You're doing what few other game developers have had the balls to do; made an effort to make your games more inclusive for female and gay gamers. Please, please, PLEASE let this trend continue on to Mass Effect 3. Your fans will not disappoint you if you do. But seriously, I think I'll cry if it goes back to only straight romance options.

And while we're on the subject, might I suggest your next step; inclusive advertising. Come on, just throw us a bone and give us a trailer or two featuring Fem!Shepard. The fanbase likes her more anyway. Come on. Please?

Don't we all.

Sunny out! (And I'll try not to go so long between updates next time...)

*Also, have I mentioned how much I like TV Tropes? Because it is a lot. Have fun wasting the rest of your day, bitches!

Sunny's Top Thirteen Fictional Geek Chicks

Let's face it. You're far more likely to run into male geeks and nerds on tv shows, in movies, video games, just about any media. Where's the love for the geek girls, huh? Well I'm going to shine the spotlight on thirteen of my favorite fictional geek chicks, because for some odd reason, I have an affinity for quirky women with lots of brains and maybe a few weird obsessions. I have no idea why. *cough* Why thirteen? It's my favorite number. You wanna fight about it? No? Good.

Let's jump right in!

13. Gadget Hackwrench (Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers)

If you don't remember the glory days of Disney cartoons, well, I weep for you. You don't know what you missed out on. Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers was about a team of crime-fighting rodents, and Gadget here was hands down the coolest of the bunch. A skilled pilot, mechanic, and inventor, Gadget could think (and talk) circles around the other Rangers. She was basically like a two inch tall, female MacGyver; she could take any old pile of junk and make it into just exactly what they needed to get out of any jam they got into. It's no surprise that both Chip and Dale had the hots for her, but in true nerd fashion, she never even seemed to notice. Who has time for romance when you have so many things to invent, anyway?

12. Zoey (Left 4 Dead)

 

Zoey, the sole female survivor in Valve's excellent co-op zombie gore-fest Left 4 Dead, is completely capable of holding her own alongside three dudes in the face of legion upon legion of angry undead. Wanna know why? The power of B movies. Zoey was spending her freshman year of college like so many of us did; skipping class and hanging around in her dorm room watching horror movies. She was on the verge of failing when, lucky for her, the zombie apocalypse broke out. It turned out that having intimate knowledge of everything George A. Romero ever made was an advantage once everyone she knew was dead or infected, and she can now put that previously useless knowledge to good use kicking undead butt. And in the end, isn't that what every geek wants?

11. Ezri Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

There were a lot of women from the various Star Trek series that I could have chosen; the series did contain a lot of scientists and doctors, after all. But I think Ezri was the one that most embodied what it is to be geeky, even when you live in a geek fantasy. A young ensign on her first commission aboard the Destiny, Ezri never had any interest in joining with a symbiont, something her people the Trill see as a great honor and only reserved for the best and brightest. But when her ship is transporting the Dax symbiont, recently rescued from it's former dieing host Jadzia, it suddenly becomes ill, and Ezri, the only Trill aboard, must join with it to prevent its death. Ezri takes on a responsibility she is not ready for and doesn't believe she is worthy of, all in the midst of a devastating war. It's this insecurity, and her eventual ability to overcome it, that make her geeky... well that and her adorable crush on Dr. Bashir. Girl cannot just spit it out and tell him she digs him till almost the very end of the series. Haven't we all been there, ladies?

10. Codex, aka Cyd Sherman (The Guild)

First of all, I gotta say that I love Felicia Day. She's one of my favorite irl geek girls, so it's no surprise that her character on The Guild, the awesome web-series she writes and stars in, makes my list. Cyd, who goes by Codex in the unnamed MMO at the core of the show, is shy and insecure, and uses the game as a way to escape her dull and unsatisfying life. But when her game friends start invading her reality, Cyd has to figure out how to channel the confident Codex she plays in game and use that courage in her real life. I see a lot of myself in Cyd; I'm certainly a lot bolder and outgoing while playing online games than I am in my every day life. She also deals with a lot of the same things real women who play video games deal with, such as either being hit on or dismissed by other players because of your gender. It's really fun to watch her come into her own, to see her get pushed and pushed by the craziness of her guild-mates and the assholes of their rival guild until, finally, she breaks out of her shy shell and shows everyone, including herself, how strong she really is.

9. Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)

Oh, Lisa Simpson. She's a bookworm, she's a band nerd, and she can be an obnoxious little know-it-all at times, but damnit, I love her anyway. I think anyone who got picked on in school for daring to think reading was fun can identify with her. Way smarter than just about everyone else around her, constantly tormented by her jerkass brother, outcast at school and misunderstood by her parents, Lisa embodies what it is to be young, opinionated, geeky and female. I know a lot of Simpsons fans find her annoying, but honestly she's sometimes the only one in that stupid family I can stand. Every time I catch a Lisa episode, I root for her. Don't worry Lisa, it get's better. You'll really blossom in college.

8. Kaylee Lee Frye (Firefly)

Kaylee is just about the cutest nerd you'll ever see. She just loves machines... I mean LOVES them. Ahem. Kaylee is the mechanic on board Serenity, but her unofficial jobs include being cheerful, having cute umbrellas and eating the HELL out of strawberries. Kaylee treats Serenity like a member of the crew, and the ship seems to love her as much as she loves it. Don't we all feel that way about our beloved machines from time to time? At least until our computer decides to be a dick and crash while we're writing an essay or our speakers refuse to work no matter what we do or the 360 red rings right in the middle of Fallout 3 and... never mind, I just remembered I actually hate machines. Kaylee, you are a better woman than I.

7. Penny (Inspector Gadget)

It is no secret that Penny was the real brains behind that bumbling idiot Inspector Gadget. I mean, come on. Gadget is constantly getting outdone by a 5th grader and a dog. Someone needs to see about getting him into some remedial classes or something. But oh man, I wish I had Penny's tech when I was ten. A computer that looks like a book? A utility wrist watch? Bad. Ass. Penny's not just tech savvy, she's resourceful and brave, which is good, considering she pretty much has to save herself whenever she gets into trouble. Honestly, the show should have actually been called "Penny and Brain! guest-starring Some Moron With a Helicopter in His Hat."

6. Harley Quinn (Batman)

Most people, when they look at Harley, don't think "geek chick" right away. "Dangerously unhinged psychopath," tends to pop up first. But think about it. In some ways, she's almost the ultimate geek. She was a doctor, so you know she's smart, despite that Jersey girl accent and, you know, the whole "crazy" thing. But what really drives it home is the fact that she takes fangirling to a whole new, utterly disturbing level. She's got such a crazy obsessive crush on the Joker that she puts on a harlequin outfit and follows him into a life of crime, becoming his most loyal henchmen, all just to get his attention. I mean, I thought those crazy ladies on that one message board who all thought they were married to Severus Snape were crazy fangirls. Nope, Harley is the Queen of All Fangirls, and if you disagree, she'll shoot you in the face with a pie bazooka. Piezooka? Whatever.

5. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (Mass Effect)

Mass Effect is another series with a lot of characters that one could call "geek chicks." Hell, Shepard can be a geek chick if you choose to play her that way. I almost put Liara up here, but in the end I had to go with Tali. Tali is sort of a geek chick by necessity; when you're entire race lives on a giant flotilla of second hand ships roving around the galaxy, and your immune system is so bad you risk death if a tiny puncture in your environmental suit causes you to catch a cold, you better know your stuff. Tali spends most of her time in the engine room of the Normandy (the sound of the engine reminds her of home), and is the closest thing your crew has to an expert on the Geth, the sentient robot race that thanked her ancestors for creating them by kicking them off their home planet. A male Shepard can start a romantic relationship with her in the second game, and she admits to developing a crush on him after he saved her, invited her to join his crew, and whisked her off to help him save the galaxy. Hell, I can't blame her for that.

4. Velma Dinkley (Scooby-Doo)

Velma was one of the first geek girls I was ever exposed to. The only one with half a brain in Mystery Inc., Velma was usually the one who solved the mystery, and it was her job to explain how the villain of the week had set up the scam at the end of every show. Velma gets dumped on sometimes for being the "ugly one" compared to Daphne, but I think that's pretty unfair. Girl's got curves, and she owns them! Look at her rocking that miniskirt! She also has people swearing up and down that she's a lesbian at times, but speculation on a cartoon character's sexuality aside, what evidence is there for that? That she didn't hook up with Shaggy? All that tells me is that she's got standards, and doesn't need to jump on the first scraggly-bearded stoner she sees to boost her confidence. She's resourceful, she's smart, and she's 100% herself. Go Velma!

3. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

Hermione isn't just a geek, her geekery flies in the face of wizardly racism! Prejudiced wizard Purebloods believe they're inherently supirior to wizards with Muggle blood; they do everything from call them insulting names to outright persecuting them in the last book. Despite her Muggle parents, Hermione is repeatedly referred to as the best witch of her age. So suck it, Purebloods! This lowley little Moodblood (I'm taking it back, ya'll) is way smarter and better at magic than your posterboy Draco Malfoy, a stark warning about the dangers of inbreeding if I ever saw one. Not only that, she uses her supirior magic ability and awesome huge brain throughout the books to help Harry, fight the forces of evil, and generally be all around awesome. Hermione's geekery is practically a political statement. She is living proof that bigotry is stupid and you can do just about anything if you work hard and read the right books.

2. Agatha Heterodyne (Girl Genius)

The world of Girl Genius is one made by geeks, for geeks, and populated almost entirely with geeks, but Agatha is in a class all her own. She's a Spark, a sort of mad scientist with an uncontrolable urge to do crazy, often irrisponsible things with science. Why? For SCIENCE, of course! There are many Sparks in this world, but Agatha, the daughter of two of the greatest Sparks of all time, is miles above the rest of them. It takes a lot of chutzpah to be the the maddest mad scientist in all the land when the world is basically run by them, but she manages it. She builds robots in her sleep. She comes up with crazy impossible plans at a moments notice and pushes the bounds of known possibility just for fun. She straps herself into devices meant to kill her and then bring her back to life in order to save her friends. She has a sentient castle full of monsters, traps, and rooms that move. Death rays get her all hot and bothered. Girl is fierce, is what I'm saying. She takes being a geek and turns it into a crazy, deadly artform.

1. Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

I know I cannot be alone in this one. Belle was by far my favorite Disney heroine, the first one I remember seeing that had wants and desires beyond getting married. Her dad went and let her read books, and she went off and got ideas. And the whole town was just so weirded out by her. A woman reading books?! The very idea! Belle taught me one of the most important lessons of my young life; Books are way more important than boys. Immune to the questionable "charms" of the meatheaded Gaston, Belle wanted to see the world outside her village and find someone who could understand her. She was intelligent and outspoken and didn't let anyone tell her what a woman should or shouldn't do. She stood her ground, and eventually got to marry a guy who could give her a whole library as an engagement present. That's way better than any stupid ring.


So that's my list. If I left out your favorite geek chick, go ahead and tell me about it in the comments. Coming up soon is a review of the webcomic Templar, Arizona and my musings on the world of Fallout.

Sunny out!